


The Times That Only We Know

by colfercrisis



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23361292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colfercrisis/pseuds/colfercrisis
Summary: New York wasn't working out for Kurt so he's headed back to Lima for a break, little does he know that a new job in an old place will reunite him with the One Who Got Away. Who knew a high school production of West Side Story could bring back so many emotions.(Kurt went to Dalton but left before he and Blaine could confess their feelings for each other)
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Times That Only We Know

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was dragged out of the depths of my brain during the quarantine so if there's any mistakes or anything just let me know. :)

Kurt never really knew how to deal with sadness. His whole life had become centred around suppressing his true emotions and presenting himself as a specific character. It wasn’t the reason he became an actor, that was far more complicated, but it was definitely a contributing factor.

Either way, when he walked in on Adam with some other guy, he knew that he was about to do something dumb. He knew that he was not emotionally equipped for this. Not since that term that he did at Dalton when he met Blaine had he felt so strongly about another person, and after seven months with Adam he had finally allowed himself to feel properly and wholeheartedly. Then again, knowing his luck, he always felt like something like this was right around the corner. Deep down he knew this wasn’t his happily ever after, something was wrong, or maybe just missing.

That was how he found himself in the Pulse nightclub downtown, the cities hottest up-and-coming gay bar, moping into his martini.

“You really need to snap out of this, sunshine.” Santana’s ironic comments did nothing to alleviate Kurt’s melancholy. “He who shall not be named wasn’t even that great! I always saw him as more of placeholder anyway…”

“Ugh Santana, I don’t even really care about it, that’s why I’m miserable. I feel like I should care. Maybe I’m the problem…” Whether or not this was true, it was certainly the wrong this to say; Santana never could stand self-pity.

“Right that’s it, Lady Hummel, I’m sick of this. Either you stop wallowing in misery and tell me how hot I look or I’m dragging your ass back to Lima to spend Christmas with Rachel and Finn and their little pain-in-the-butts. Personally, I can’t imagine anything worse.” She had a point, ever since Rachel had moved back to Lima to work as a playwright and had got back together with Finn, their lives had seemed pretty perfect. They lived in a perfect little house, on a perfect little street, with their three perfect little daughters, each as talented as their overachieving parents ever were. Kurt loved them all dearly, but at this point in time, he couldn’t think of a worse place to be than with them and all of their perfectness.

“Ok, ok fine, I’m up, I’m cheerful and I’m dancing. Let’s go.” Kurt reached out for Santana’s hand.

“And?”

“And you look hot, happy now?”

“Very.” Santana smirked and took Kurt’s hand, leading him onto the dancefloor.

There was almost no one in the club tonight, what with it being the Monday before Christmas, almost everyone had gone home already to spend time with their families. To be fair the only reason Kurt hadn’t was because he was planning on staying in New York to spend Christmas with Adam and his family. There was nothing holding him here now except his pride. He didn’t want to tell his dad that he had been right about Adam, so he was holding off on telling him about the break-up for now.

Five minutes and two songs in and Santana had already caught the eyes of some brunette. Kurt was never fond of third-wheeling Santana and her flings, he felt incredibly awkward around PDA at the best of times, but somehow it was worse when there was no one else to talk to. Once they were making out Kurt went to sit back down and wait out the rest of the night until Santana got bored and took pity on him. She had a policy of never going home with the girls she met in clubs, it only led to feelings and therefore heartache.

It was around midnight when Santana finally managed to separate herself, she came and swung herself into the booth next to Kurt.

“I’m thinking, maybe it would be a good idea to spend some time at home.” She was clearly trying to hide, but Kurt didn’t want to get involved.

“This is what you were thinking about when that girl’s tongue was down your throat?” exclaimed Kurt. Santana’s weirdness never failed to impress him.

“Yeah, yeah, well clearly here isn’t working out for us. I know you’ve done loads of auditions, but you’ve not got anything on any time soon, and now that Adam has — I only work in a diner, I can do that anywhere.” Kurt was surprised, she wasn’t just talking about visiting home, she was thinking about moving back. “I mean it wouldn’t be admitting that we failed, I just think we need to re-evaluate and come back at this from another angle, New York post-college is not all I thought it would be…”

The sadness in Santana’s voice was palpable, it made Kurt think that this wasn’t the first time she’d thought about this. She did have a point, there wasn’t much here for them. When they first came to New York with Rachel after high school they’d had such big dreams of stardom, but it just hadn’t worked out that way. Kurt was convinced that after NYADA theatre companies would be knocking on his door begging for him to be in shows, but other than a few chorus parts he hadn’t really done anything worthwhile. However, one thought had occurred to him…

“Santana, are you just saying this because you’re drunk, or do you really mean it?”

“Depends on whether you want to do it or not…” she half-joked. “No, I’m serious, and not that drunk in all honesty. If we’re ever going to do it now’s the time.”

“Ok, if we still think this is a good idea in the morning then I’m in. That being said, can I stay at yours tonight? I really don’t fancy going home to Adam right now…” They had only moved in together a month or so ago, but it really did feel like home, another heartbreak.

“Any time, Lady Lips.” Santana winked at Kurt. “You ready to go home then?”

“Santana, I’ve been ready since we got here.” And Kurt realised he didn’t mean Santana’s apartment or even his apartment with Adam, he meant home to Lima.

***

After a restless night on Santana’s couch, Kurt woke up with the sunlight, for once with only the most minimal of hangovers. Nothing a little breakfast couldn’t fix. As he rifled through Santana’s almost bare cupboards, he pondered the idea of going back to Lima and what that could mean. He would love to see his dad and Carol again, and he did miss Sam and Mercedes. Plus, as annoyingly perfect as they could be, he truly loved Rachel, Finn and his nieces, it would be pretty cool to see them again. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to do it.

As he finished mixing the pancake batter, Santana walked in, fully dressed and carrying a suitcase. Considering that Kurt had fully expected her to be a hungover mess this morning, he was more than shocked by this development.

“You ready to go home then?” How on Earth she had the time to pack this morning Kurt would never know, but she did seem committed to this plan.

“Back to Adam? Yeah no thanks.” Kurt teased.

“Well we have to pop round Adam’s to pick up your stuff, but then were on the first flight out of here, I’ve bought out tickets, we will be back in Lima by bed-time.” She brandished a piece of paper and handed it to Kurt, it was still warm from the printer.

“Santana, you realise this is mad right, I mean we haven’t even told anyone that were coming back, let alone actually thought about how long we would be staying, or even what clothes I’m going to take!” Santana cocked an eyebrow at him as if to suggest that he was being stupid and none of this even mattered.

“Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, my little gay baby, these are all just details, we are getting on that plane at five this evening and we are going back to Lima, end of story, ok?” Somehow, the domineering, sarcastic Santana that he had grown up with was gone and – well she was still domineering and mildly sarcastic, but she also seemed to be more sensible.

“Ok.”

***

Kurt looked up at his bedroom window from the taxi, and he felt nothing. No pain, no hurt, no nothing. Somehow, with Santana’s help, he had already moved on from Adam. So much so that he couldn’t bring himself just to go into his apartment, it wasn’t his anymore.

Santana waited on the bench outside the building, she had never liked Adam, which really should’ve been a sign to Kurt, but he was just so happy that someone liked him. He rang up and immediately heard Adam’s familiar “Come on up.” Suddenly Kurt was doubting himself, maybe this was a mistake, it was almost certainly going to end badly, most things in Kurt’s life did.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice walking up the stairs until he found himself facing the door. Three short raps, not his usual musical beat, but he needed to keep himself together. The door opened hesitantly as Adam tried to figure out who could possibly be on the other side and before he could he felt the slap hit him square in the face.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” Kurt squealed, he couldn’t believe he had done that, he hadn’t planned to, it had just happened. Now was not the time to question himself.

“Kurt! You’re back! I’m so glad, and I’m so, so sorry for what I did, I promise it will never-”

“No.” Kurt’s voice had taken over from his brain, he didn’t know what was going to come out of his mouth next. “I’m not back, Adam. I’m going back to Lima, I’m just here to fetch my stuff.” Adam’s face dropped. Kurt couldn’t believe his audacity, if he wanted to be together this much then why would he have cheated on him? It made no sense to Kurt but honestly, at this point, he didn’t care, he was over it, he was over Adam.

He pushed passed Adam and went into their bedroom, again, no feelings. Somehow this was the point he was dreading more, figuring out how to get his clothes back to Lima, there’s no way he could fit all of his hats in a suitcase without them getting destroyed. Eventually, after an hour of deliberating and struggling with layers upon layers of silk and suede, he left the bedroom to find Adam sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands.

“Ok, I’m going now, thanks for letting me do that,” Kurt said with newfound confidence.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt you, you know. You just seemed so distant and Jack was – it was only one time you know…” Adam looked like he was on the brink of tears.

“I know, but you must’ve known this was coming anyway. We may love each other, but that’s not enough sometimes. Figure yourself out, that’s what I’m doing, but I’m not staying here. I’m going home and we won’t see each other again, but I wish you the best.” It occurred to Kurt that he probably should’ve been angrier, but in all honesty, it was cathartic to be nice to a guy who had hurt him so badly. He was in the right and he couldn’t be accused of anything else, and with that, he turned, walked through the door and closed it behind him. As an actor he appreciated the moment, as a person he knew it was over and he could go back to Lima without any doubts about leaving Adam.

***

As Kurt stepped out of the arrivals gate, he saw his father’s iconic baseball cap before he saw the man himself. Santana ran straight to her mother and showed more emotions than she had cumulatively over their friendship.

“Kurt!” His deep voice boomed out across the room as he ran over to Kurt.

“Dad, your heart!” was all Kurt could get out before he was smothered by three little girls. Kurt had only seen the girls a few times in their lives, what with living on the other side of the country and all, but he loved them with all his heart. He was never particularly fond of children, but these girls were so well behaved and sweet it was almost enough to change his mind.

“Uncle Kurt, Uncle Kurt, Daddy said you were coming back forever, does that mean you can come to see my ballet recital next week?” Allegra asked as Harmony clung to Kurt’s arm. Rachel’s daughters were always destined to be talented but for kids still in single digits, the number of recitals and shows that they partook in was off the scales.

“Allegra, Harmony, let’s let Uncle Kurt settle in before we bombard him with requests.” Melody chided. She was older than the twins by two years, and yet she was already far more mature and formal, so much so that sometimes Kurt worried, but it wasn’t his place.

The next thing Kurt new the girls were being dragged off him by their parents as Kurt was wrapped up in the biggest hug by his father. He’d missed this, the feeling of his father’s love enveloping him was something he had never found a replacement for in New York. He had texted his dad on the way to the airport to let him know what was happening, but he never would’ve thought that his whole extended family would’ve come to see him at the airport, he hadn’t been this happy in a long time.

“Let’s get you, home son.”

***

Three days later, Kurt was sitting in his childhood bedroom at a loose end. When he came home, he hadn’t considered how many of his high school friends had moved away. Tina was now a veterinary researcher at Oxford University, Mike was working in Hollywood as a music video choreographer, Artie was at some artsy-indie film company in Paris working on his ‘magnum opus’ as he put it. Everyone else was all coupled up and living the suburban life, and ever since they got back to Lima Santana had been suspiciously quiet, but it never helped to push her into doing things.

In was one of the days when everyone was at work that Kurt found himself looking for a job. He wasn’t giving up on his acting career, of course, he just needed something temporary, and he really did not want to work in his dad’s tire shop again, because he could not keep up that skin regimen anymore. He was scrolling through job listing and everything he found was boring and pointless. Dog walking, babysitting, shelf stacking, these were all jobs for high school kids on the weekends, not jobs for an actor in hard times.

Then suddenly inspiration struck, he decided to check the William McKinley High School website. Sure, he didn’t have an actual teaching degree, but now that he was living at home, he didn’t really need to be earning too much money, and really, he just needed something to do. They were looking for janitors, groundskeepers, cooks – seriously did this school hire anyone pastoral? – and then he saw it; they were looking for a director for the school musical! Ok, so his only experience directing was in an old folks' home in college, and his acting career wasn’t extensive, but it couldn’t have been more perfect!

He sent in his CV and his application form and the settled down to watch The Bachelor (again…) but within half an hour he had an email back from the school’s glee club coach:

_Dear Mr Hummel,_

_It would be a true delight for you to come back to McKinley High to direct this year’s school musical, West Side Story. If I recall correctly, this was the musical during your senior year here? Hopefully, you’ll manage to make this rendition even better. Although, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to find someone to top the particularly talented actor who played Officer Krupke. Would you be available to come to the school tomorrow to discuss the logistics of it all? I do have a few suggestions, and I would love to meet the man who’s destined to be Broadway’s next big thing. You could join me for lunch at 12:30? Please do let me know. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by a few of the changes that McKinley has made since you left._

_Best wishes,_

_The New Directions Glee Club Director_

It seemed odd to Kurt that the glee club director had not signed off with his name, but he was too overjoyed that the director had remembered his performance 12 years later. He hadn’t been particularly impressed when Finn got the role of Tony over him, it seemed unjust as Finn had expressed no interest in West Side Story beforehand, but Kurt knew disappointment was just a part of being an actor and he’d only just got back from his brief stint at Dalton at that point.

Immediately he responded enthusiastically:

_Dear Mr “The New Directions Glee Club Director”,_

_Since you did not give me a name and I cannot find it online, this is what I will have to refer to you as. I would be honoured to have lunch with at my old high school, I suppose I shall finally make it into the teacher’s lounge. How terribly exciting._

_That performance of Officer Krupke was surely not my finest ever role, but thank you for pretending to remember me, it was a nice ego boost! (Not that I particularly need one…) Were you a student at McKinley at the time? I can’t imagine how else you would’ve seen our production._

_Anyway, sorry for rambling, I shall be at the school at 12:30 tomorrow, come rain or shine, to plan the best production The April Rhodes Theatre has ever seen!_

_Best wishes,_

_Kurt Hummel_

He knew it was probably a bit informal, this director had just given him a job after all, but for some reason, he felt like the director would appreciate it, whoever they were.

***

The next morning, Kurt found himself staring at the inside of his wardrobe. His style had definitely changed since he lived here, but he was sure he could manipulate his old clothes into a half-decent outfit. He tried on outfit after outfit, half of them didn’t fit due to his new-found muscular physique and the other half were just wrong. Eventually, he decided that he should go retro, he was going back to McKinley after all, he might as well go back in one of his favourite outfits. Kurt looked at his reflection and admired his creation; his white leather jacket paired with a black shirt, black jeans and white Dr Martens, accentuated by his keys necklace and to finish it off, his classic top hat. He had fond memories of this outfit, but he couldn’t quite remember why. Maybe it was because he wore it on his first day back at McKinley after Dalton, as evidenced by the group photo that was pinned up above his childhood desk.

Once he was ready, he headed downstairs only to find Finn already in the kitchen.

“Sick of Rachel already, Finn?” Kurt joked. He couldn’t imagine being married to Rachel, she’s great and all, but very intense. Either way, it was obvious that Finn was head over heels for her nine years into their marriage, and the addition of their children only made them fall deeper in love.

“Nah, me and Burt carpool to the tire shop, but I was wondering if you wanted to come with. It would give you something to do.” Finn’s misguided kindness was almost adorable, but if he thought he would ever get Kurt back working in that tire shop he had another thing coming.

“Actually, dear brother, I’ve got something to do now. I’m going to direct the McKinley High musical this year.” As he said it, he knew what was coming, he knew he would love it, but it did seem a little silly. True to assumptions, Finn was trying to hold back his laughter. “Yeah, I’m meeting the glee club director for lunch today.”

“Wait, wait, wait, do you know who the glee club director is?” Of course, he had been wondering, but the fact that Finn was now pointing it out he was really intrigued. Clearly, this showed on Kurt’s face because Finn continued; “Oh dude you’re in for a fun day.” He was properly laughing now. “Burt! We’re going to be late!”

“On my way, son!” came a voice from upstairs and soon the man himself was standing in the kitchen. “Ah Kurt, what show are you binging today? The Bachelor again?” Kurt felt personally attacked, but the accuracy did make him laugh. As Burt and Finn left, Kurt went back up to his room to fix his hair again.

***

It was strange to walk down the halls of McKinley High again; he had sworn he would never come back here. There were far too many terrible memories, the lockers where he got pushed, the changing room with Karofsky, even the old French classroom where he found out about his father’s heart attack. Now though Kurt was determined to make some good memories, this musical was going to be his McKinley redemption and he was sure he was going to grow to love these halls.

He turned the corner and saw the door to the choir room, his sanctuary. He felt drawn to it and although he was going to be late to his lunch meeting, he just had to go in. It was exactly like he remembered it, except with more trophies. The New Directions had clearly had a surge of excellence in recently, probably around the same time that the new glee club director had arrived. Kurt had high hopes for his musical now; if their glee club was so successful, they must have a fair few good singers. Kurt walked out to the piano and started to play the first song that came to his mind.

“I walked across an empty land; I felt the pathway like the back of my hand.” The voice made Kurt jump out of his skin, not least because he had thought he was alone. The voice was scarily familiar, it was a voice that he constantly heard in his dreams but could never quite place. “This isn’t the teacher’s lounge, but if you’d rather have our meeting here that’s cool.” Kurt turned around and saw him; Blaine Anderson.

If you were to ask Kurt to describe Blaine that morning, he would’ve said this; “The most beautiful boy to walk the Earth, with a voice to match.” And as it turned out Blaine had not changed much, although he could no longer be described as a boy, he was most definitely a man. He was gorgeous, his hair was no longer contained by copious amounts of hair gel and it was a little longer than it used to be. Whilst he still wore his iconic bowtie, the colours were now far more sedated and tasteful, and he had his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Kurt’s childhood crush was back with full force.

Blaine disappeared back into the office and allowed Kurt a moment to catch his breath. He hadn’t even considered the oddity that was Blaine working at McKinley, the last time Kurt had seen him, Blaine was off to London with his family. His father had got a new job in the city and so Blaine had to move away, it broke Kurt’s heart that he had never gotten up the courage to tell Blaine how he felt, but he knew it would be easier for both of them if they weren’t trying to cling on to each other. That definitely was not just Kurt’s excuse for his cowardice.

When Blaine reappeared, he was carrying a blanket and a couple of pillows. He spread them out on the floor, and it took Kurt a moment to realise what was happening. He couldn’t find any words, he just didn’t know how to react, it was all too much. Blaine went back to the office and fetched a picnic basket. He sat on one of the pillows and gestured to another one for Kurt to sit down, which he did.

“You did all this for me?” Kurt was stunned, and justifiably so, this meeting was only arranged 24 hours ago.

“Aha of course not! I do this for everyone I have meetings with.” Blaine winked at him and his heart fluttered. Wait no, that wasn’t the point of this. Kurt left New York to rediscover himself, not to regress to his teenaged self. He could not let himself fall for Blaine again, especially not now that they were going to be working together, the last thing the school musical needed was relationship drama from the adults involved as well as the kids.

“Yeah right.” Kurt scoffed playfully. “So how the hell did you end up back in Ohio?” Blaine looked almost bashful, but he didn’t let down his façade.

“What do you mean? Coaching a high school glee club isn’t everyone’s lifelong dream?” Kurt noticed that the main thing that had changed since they were seventeen was Blaine’s smile. Before his smile lit up him whole face, he expressed everything that he was in his smile, but now it was as if he was just acting, it didn’t seem natural.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” With that Blaine seemed to relax into himself slightly, he pulled a couple of boxes out of the basket and offered them to Kurt. “Oh wow, this looks delicious. Thanks, Blaine.”

“Gotta treat my director right, you know how it is.” Blaine winked again. “Shall we begin then?”

“Yes, we shall.”

**Author's Note:**

> Songs referenced in this chapter:
> 
> Somewhere Only We Know by Keane


End file.
